Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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