i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
