There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
