It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
