You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
