At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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