I love black thongs
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
they need to just BURY HIM!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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