Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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