Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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