I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
