can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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