he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Drunk is not a location!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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