yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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