Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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