PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
