I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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