his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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