I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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