its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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