dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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