I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
