we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
