He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
sarcasm needs its own font
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
