There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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