Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
