theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
whose parrot is this?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
