Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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