And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
