Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
