My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
