My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
