do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
