I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
