I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
