You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
