What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
