He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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