my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
