SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
