I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
