Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
