I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
