he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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