Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
did you just send me my own nude
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
