I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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