I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
