I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
now i know why i became what i already was.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
