Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
