My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
