he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
