Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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